the monumnet to God's faithfulness is His people. rescued, ransomed, redeemed but wresting.

i am a lover of God. passionate, humble, meek, poor in spirit, desperate, devoted. a bride in waiting for the Beautiful One. i am a son of God. His own child, after His own heart. living purely to see the delight in His eyes. i am fascinated, captivated and captured by the depth and fulness of His unfailing love for me and this broken world. i am a sheep in the flock of the Good Shepherd. found by His mercy, pursued in love and goodness. He's the Provider, the Protector, my Defender and my Portion. He's the One who has forgiven this broken heart. He stands on mountaintops with me and with Him i walk through the valley. He's my Treasure, my All in all, my Glory, my King who i serve forever. my Redeemer who i long to praise with a thousand tongues and worship with a thousand lives. He's the Rescuer. He pulled me out of the pit of the darkness of sin and death and lifted me into His glorious light. He brought me from death to life. He is Life. life is knowing Him eternally. He will never leave me. He will never forsake me. He will never give up on me. He will never let go. He's the Creator, the Maker, the Designer. First and Last. He will always be the same, He will never change. He is my Great High Priest who's name is Love. He is the Resurection. He is seated on the throne at the centre of history, the unniverse, everything. His word will last forever. all else fades, but His word stands firm.

He is bigger. deeper. higher than all my problems. He is sovereign and good. strength and faithfulness.

i am a worshipper. a child of faith in the promise that He has given me. through every season of the soul. i bow down before Him simply because He is worthy. He is all glorious, all beautiful, all powerful and all sovereign. i am nothing before Him. i can never tell Him what to do for He is over, above and beyond. i give all that i can in obedient and joyful surrender- obedient because He is God and joyful because He is Saviour. its the reverent offering, its the overflow of love. i was created to be His praise, to be a monument of mercy. i lay my life on the altar as a living sacrifice because He gave Himself, His own body and blood for me to know Him and spend eternity with Him. my mission on this earth is to tell other the good news of His redeeming love. i am a witness to His glory and love.

i am a lead worshipper. i am broken but He uses me. i gaze upon His face, marvel at His beauty and lead others to do the same. i am a lead lover, i pursue Him with my heart, life, soul and mind and take others on a journey into the depths of His greatness. i am being made into a mini-shepherd. i care for others, that they may know Him more, love Him more, delight in Him more and in all this glorify His name. i am compassionate and love the poor and long for them to know the One who is the Friend of sinners. i sing to God because He is my Song and my Lifeline. He has made me a psalmist, someone who walks with Him and puts His truths into songs, melodies, harmonies that carry His heart to His people and to the lost. hymns of praise that echo the eternal songs of heaven and give Him glory, honour and praise that He is due because He is the Most High, eternal, infinate, wise and awesome. He has been my hope, my peace and joy through hard times, through storms and wildernesses. His grace is enough. out of the overflow of my intimacy with Him i call others to cry out to Him and find that He is the One who is all we need. He is the great I AM. the Lion and the Lamb. i'll hope in Him.

...but i am under attack. my mind is full of confusion and all i have just written feels so distant. i hate it. all of the above is who i am and much more importantly- who i know God is. thats what i've built my life on Father. its You. the pursuit of You, pleasing You, knowing You, loving You as Your son, lover and worshipper and gloryfing You by delighting in You. this confusion feels so destructive. it feels so overwhelming. i feel like its killing me. i dont understand, ive been so passionately in love and in awe of You. i have persevered under trial and sadness, i have looked at You and to You day and night. i have been on the mountaintop and come down deep into the valley of confusion, the valley of the shadow of death. i dont want it to wound me. i dont want it to change all the things You've already built in me. Jesus Christ, Son of God, the One who knows me, loves me and hurts with me! i need You! all of the above i know is true deep down but this battle is overwhelming and tempting. take it all, just give me Jesus! i just want to know You, see You like i know i do. is it because i love You that i am being attacked by this overwhelming darkness and deep, deep pain? clouds have come over and covered everything. i feel lost and alone. help me cling to truth! Your word is truth, a light to my path but the enemy is trying to lie to me and steal that truth. this battle is too intense God! i will stand for You becuase i love You. i have seen You and am going to run after You because Your love is better than life. You're all i want. i feel like ive become so inward, so depressed. this thing is oppressing me so much. i am too weak Lord. but You live in me and You said that the battle is Yours. thankYou God. i choose to thankYou for who You are and all You've done even if i dont see it and even if my mind is full of doubt. in Jesus mighty, precious name i say that all these doubts are not true. lead me back Lord. hear the cry of this broken heart. You reign.

Lord we are calling desperate to see
revival
Lord we are yearning longing to see
Your face
We see the broken, we see the weary
they're searching
Needing Your presence, needing a touch
from Your hand

Hope of the world
You are the Lord
in You all people are restored
You send us out
to show the lost
the unending love of God

Lord You have promised all who will seek You
will find You
Lord You have spoken mercy that carries
us home
Here in Your presence we find a love
that was poured out
You bore our weakness, making us whole in Your sight

they are lost they are thirsty
give them Life, Lord, show them Beauty
make a way for Your children
to find hope and forgiveness
they are weak, they are thirsty
give them Life, show them Beauty
may we come to Your fountain
and find rest

Lord we are waiting for a new move of your Spirit
Preparing Your bride to sing on that Glorious Day

pursue passion and humility

The Beatitudes
    3 “God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him,
      for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.
    4 God blesses those who mourn,
      for they will be comforted.
    5 God blesses those who are humble,
      for they will inherit the whole earth.
    6 God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice,
      for they will be satisfied.
    7 God blesses those who are merciful,
      for they will be shown mercy.
    8 God blesses those whose hearts are pure,
      for they will see God.
    9 God blesses those who work for peace,
      for they will be called the children of God.
   10 God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right,
      for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.
 11 “God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. 12 Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.

God blesses the you when you turn your back on the world and live for me without holding back, knowing that you are going to have to be set apart totally.

Portion of this heart forever
all i desire, Strength and Shelter
nothing else in this world matters
now i've found a Friend in Jesus

Shepherd, through the storms You carry
in Your arms You take and shield me
there is not a Friend as Faithful
You're our Treasure, ever able

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs He'll bear!
So we always run to carry everything to God in prayer!

Shepherd, through the storms You carry
in Your arms You take and shield me
there is not a Friend as Faithful
You're our Treasure, ever able

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
So we always run to carry everything to God in prayer!
Blessed Savior, You have promised, You will all our burdens bear
Jesus knows our every weakness, all to You we bring in prayer.

Soon in glory bright unclouded there will be no need for prayer
Rapture, praise and endless worship will be our sweet portion there

colossians 1 vs 15-22, help me never lose the wonder Lord. capture me.

Love bore the cross
Love died for me
Love walked my sins path
to calvary
Love screamed a cry
for history
a plea, a rescue
to make us free

when i fall You are Faithful
Just and True to forgive

so i live to see You high and lifted up
in my life take over, for You are glorious

Your life returned
in victory
Your hands scarred with hope
hope that i need
till You return
i'll sing this song
make my life Your life
Your will be done

light has pierced the darkness
prepare the way of the Lord

i live to see You high and lifted up
in my life take over, for You are glorious
You are glorious

Love sang a love song over me
upon that cruel cross
Love made a way where there was no way
all to take me home

The Lord’s Love for Unfaithful Israel

14 “But then I will win her back once again.
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her there.
15 I will return her vineyards to her
and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope.
She will give herself to me there,
as she did long ago when she was young,
when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt.
16 When that day comes,” says the Lord,
“you will call me ‘my husband’
instead of ‘my master.’

To Start All Over Again

14-15 "And now, here's what I'm going to do:
I'm going to start all over again.
I'm taking her back out into the wilderness
where we had our first date, and I'll court her.
I'll give her bouquets of roses.
I'll turn Heartbreak Valley into Acres of Hope.
She'll respond like she did as a young girl,
those days when she was fresh out of Egypt.
16 "At that time"—this is God's Message still—
"you'll address me, 'Dear husband!'
Never again will you address me,
'My slave-master!'

God's restoration

14 "Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her.

15 There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
There she will sing [b] as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.

16 "In that day," declares the LORD,
"you will call me 'my husband';
you will no longer call me 'my master.

i remember times of being utterly overwhelmed to tears by the sound of God's people praising Him and knowing how much He delights in the sound of His children running to Him no matter what and worshipping Him through anything

i remember times of amazing encounter with my Jesus, the Son of God, the Son of Man, being amazed and captured completeoyly by His beauty, being left undone in total awe, but in love and not wanting to ever turn my eyes away

i remember times of joy, joy beyond understanding in the celebration of the rescue of the cross and the power of the resurrection, knowing the Saviours passionate love and surrendering call and wanting to live life as a response to such mercy

i remember times of peace, resting in the faithfulness of my Father, recognising the unspeakable goodness of God throughout my life, being overwhelmed and stunned by the kindness and grace and favor of God on my life- Hosea 11 in motion

i remember times of being satisfied in God alone and crying take the world, just give me Jesus, i remember wanting nothing more than all who God is and His will

i remember times of longing for the Kingdom and gosepl of God to come and people worshipping God in the streets, inviting lost sheep through the kindness of God into the heavenly party, believing with faith in the power of Jesus to save

i remember times of hope in heaven and in the glory that is to come, being caught up constantly in thoughts of spending eternity with the One that i love, where every knee will bow and where the Church will come as a bride prepared to give herself to the Great King

i remember times of hope through hopelessness. of being in love with His word. of finding words like 'all', 'rescue' and 'unfailing' to have endless beauty and meaning in the hand of God. i remember times of being amazed by the beauty of the Creator. i remember times of being found in God in the secret place, with songs in my heart and on my lips. i remember times of comfort. of excitement in the future God has for me.

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Lord, You're all i need. i dont understand right now. but You have been faithful. You will always be faithful. never leaving, never forsaking God. i love You, now and forever.

4 My heart is breaking
as I remember how it used to be:
I walked among the crowds of worshipers,
leading a great procession to the house of God,
singing for joy and giving thanks
amid the sound of a great celebration!

5 Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again—
my Savior and 6 my God!

Now I am deeply discouraged,
but I will remember you—
even from distant Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan,
from the land of Mount Mizar.
7 I hear the tumult of the raging seas
as your waves and surging tides sweep over me.
8 But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me,
and through each night I sing his songs,
praying to God who gives me life.

9 “O God my rock,” I cry,
“Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I wander around in grief,
oppressed by my enemies?”
10 Their taunts break my bones.
They scoff, “Where is this God of yours?”

11 Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again—
my Savior and my God!